It's 2:56 on a random Wednesday afternoon, not that I'm really keeping track of the time. Maybe on some unconscious level I keep glancing at the clock and when the numbers align just right I'll trudge my way upstairs to get ready for work. Then I'll come home, stay up until about eleven doing goodness know what before bed, and then wake up at six the next morning and start my daily routine over again. That's all my life is these days, one immense, unvarying routine. Life has just become so boring lately. I wake up and do the same things every day every week. I'm so far ahead in my classes that it seems almost pointless to even come to school every day because I sit there and do nothing. Maybe I should read a book or something. But then I think about how I used to always have things to do when I was bored, like write a fanfic or read a story or watch anime or go for a run, maybe draw something. But in these past few years I've just become to listless in regards to everything I used to enjoy that I don't even know WHAT my interests and hobbies are anymore. Even my relationship is starting to suffer from this. The only things on my mind are the monotony of my life and how I keep telling myself that it'll all be worth it when I have the best future.

College is the other thing eating away at my mind lately. Where to go to school? How will I pay for classes? How can I get out of school before I'm 30? The two killer questions, though, are what if Nick and I go to separate colleges? And what if I don't get accepted where I really want to go? I guess I've just got to put faith into my philosophy that everything happens for a reason, even if I don't understand quite yet.

Lately I've been feeling that spark like I used to feel, though. I don't think I'd ever start writing like I did back in the day, but perhaps I'll stay up all night here soon and watch the same episodes I've already seen hundreds of times over and read a good story.